Seven Tips for Getting the Most Out of Online EMDR Sessions

Wondering about online EMDR therapy? Maybe you’ve already had your consultation, or maybe you’re still considering it. Either way, one of the questions that tends to surface — quietly, sometimes without being spoken — is: what can I do on my end to make this work as well as possible?

It’s a good question. And the answer is more interesting than “find a quiet room and make sure your Wi-Fi works” — though those matter too.

Here is what I’ve learned from years of delivering EMDR via telehealth, and what my clients tell me makes the biggest difference.

Create a Space That Feels Contained

EMDR processing can bring up material that is intense, unexpected, and deeply held. The space you’re sitting in matters — not because it needs to be perfect, but because it needs to feel private and safe enough to let your guard down.

Choose a room where you won’t be interrupted. Close the door. If you live with others, let them know you are in a session and unavailable. Silence your phone and set your computer to Do Not Disturb. These are not just logistical steps — they are signals to your nervous system that this is protected time.

Some clients create a small ritual around their sessions: lighting a candle, placing a particular object nearby, sitting in a specific chair. This is not about aesthetics. It is about cueing your body that you are entering a different kind of space. If you’ve done any work with somatic therapy, you’ll recognize this as an orienting practice — giving your system landmarks that say this is where the work happens.

Have a Few Things Within Reach

During EMDR processing, it can be helpful to have certain items close by — not because you’ll necessarily use all of them, but because knowing they’re there can help your system feel resourced.

A glass of water. A blanket or something soft to hold. Tissues. A grounding object — a smooth stone, a piece of fabric, something with texture or weight that you can reach for if you need to anchor into the present.

These small preparations matter more than they might seem. They communicate to your nervous system: I am being taken care of, even by myself.

Protect the Time Around Your Session

This is the piece my clients say makes the most difference, and it’s the one most easily overlooked.

EMDR does not stop the moment our session ends. Your brain continues processing. What you do immediately after a session shapes how that processing settles.

If at all possible, do not schedule your session right before a meeting, a pickup, a phone call, or anything that demands you shift gears quickly. Give yourself even fifteen or twenty minutes on the other side — to sit, to breathe, to take a short walk, to make something warm to drink. Let the work land before you re-enter the pace of your day.

This is one of the genuine advantages of online EMDR: you are in your own space. You do not have to get in a car and drive. Use that. The transition time that’s built into the format is a gift — take it.

Let Your Body Be Part of the Process

EMDR is not a purely cognitive therapy. It engages your body directly — through bilateral stimulation, through the emotions that arise during processing, and through the somatic shifts that signal when something has moved.

During sessions, I’ll often ask what you notice in your body. You don’t need to have precise language for this — “tight,” “heavy,” “buzzy,” “nothing” are all perfectly useful starting points. But you can prepare by simply noticing, in the days and hours before a session, what your body tends to do when it is stressed, activated, or settling. Where do you hold tension? What does your breathing do when you’re anxious? What happens in your chest or stomach when something emotional surfaces?

This kind of gentle self-observation — not analysis, just noticing — builds the somatic awareness that makes EMDR processing richer and more effective. If you’re curious about this dimension of the work, I write more about it on my approach page.

Embrace the Process

EMDR can feel unusual, especially at first. You may notice that memories surface that you weren’t expecting. You may feel emotions that seem disproportionate, or physical sensations that don’t have an obvious explanation. You may have vivid dreams between sessions. You may feel tired in a way that isn’t quite physical.

All of this is normal. It is the processing doing what it’s supposed to do — moving material that has been stored in fragmented, unintegrated form and allowing your brain to file it properly. The discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong. It is often a sign that something is finally moving.

If you are working with complex trauma, childhood trauma, or attachment wounds, this process may unfold in layers rather than in a single arc — and that is as it should be. We pace the work together, and you are never alone in it.

Notes About Technology

The technology should be the least interesting part of your session. During out first few meetings, we’ll do a brief check to make sure your connection, audio, and screen are working well. After that, it should disappear.

A few practical notes: use the largest screen available to you (laptop or tablet rather than phone) for the best bilateral stimulation experience. Sit at a comfortable distance — roughly arm’s length from the screen. Position the camera at eye level if you can. And close all other tabs and applications so your bandwidth is dedicated to the session.

If something goes wrong mid-session — a frozen screen, a dropped connection — we have a plan for that. We’ll discuss it in advance, and it won’t derail the work.

You’re Already Doing the Hardest Part

Deciding to begin EMDR therapy — online or otherwise — takes courage. Preparing your space, your schedule, and your body is simply meeting that courage with care.

The rest, we do together.

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If you’re considering online EMDR therapy and want to learn more about how it works, visit my Online EMDR Therapy page or schedule a consultation.